Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
