so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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