that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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