Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
