paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
