tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
