What a fucking waste of an outfit
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
