he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
