i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Fuck appropriateness.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
