he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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