why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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