Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Randomize
