Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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