Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize