For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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