Swine flu. Run for my life!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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