porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
