who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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