I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
