grandma shit on top of the toilet
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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