she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
