I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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