I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize