girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
