we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
