I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize