You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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