ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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