im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
