Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
