um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Randomize
