Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize