i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
