i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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