I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
