I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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