The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
