I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
