yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
