But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
