hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
