Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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