tell your sister to shave her snatch
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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