just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
