why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
