I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
