we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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