Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
