Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
