am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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