she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
