Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
