He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
