It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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