yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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