If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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