Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
