Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
