worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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