no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
