Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
