I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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