All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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