I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Terrible idea I love it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
