Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
