Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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