Plan B is the new Plan A
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
