dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
