Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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