But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
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I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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