.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
